Bill Clinton is One Deep Guy

When the going gets tough, the tough start wars
Over time, American Politics has become a lot of fun. And never before has it been more fun than now. Unless you happen to live in Belgrade. Then it would kind of suck. Oh, but I forgot, that was NATO's initiative. Maybe the UN should bomb civilised countries while NATO's busy. But that's another thing altogether.

Back on course

Bill Clinton is one deep guy. First, a Presidential scandal of penile proportions -- a sure fire ratings winner. And when you're on a good thing, start a war. The important thing to note is that the people getting in trouble for the war are:
  • Madline Albright
     because she's in charge of some kind of "international thing" and she's a girl
  • NATO
     because England is agreeing with America and Germany has been waiting to fly the Luftwaffer for years
  • Monica Lewinsky
     because she's a girl
  • America in General
     because America is better than you.
You will note that Bill Clinton isn't in the above list. And even better, he isn't in the following list called "People who got in trouble for Bill Clinton not having sex with an intern".
  • Newt Gingrich
     because it turns out he had sex once despite being a republican
  • Monica Lewinsky
     because she wasn't thinking about the children (probably because she was 19 herself)
  • Kenneth Starr
     because it turns out he didn't know what sex is
All of this points to the awesome depth of Bill Clinton. Some people have said the Bill Clinton has actually helped many peoples lives by giving them a chance to either appear on television or get make-overs and money, which is something Riki Lake doesn't offer. Other people just point to his extreme boyish charm and mass debating skills. We at the Spunion simply prefer to point to his awesome depth. Unlike any other world leader, Clinton has been able to maintain something called "Object Oriented Hypocrisy!".

Object Oriented Hypocrisy!

 To under stand Object Oriented Hypocrisy or "ooh!", you have to think about English grammar. Good sentences have a subject, a verb and an object. Object Oriented Hypocrisy forces the 'object' to take on the hypocrisy of the subject. For example, our subject is Bill Clinton who didn't have sex (the verb) with the object Monica Lewinsky. Now Bill Clinton did this while being married etc. People usually regard this as a selfish, bad thing. But instead, the object, Monica Lewinsky, got into trouble for being a 'big haired, selfish bitch of bovine proportions'. Pretty good. Lets look at another example - Kosovo. The subject, NATO bombed the shit out of the object, Serbia. In doing so, they bombed a prison, a television station and a bunch of refugees. But it's still Serbia's fault for being evil war mongers because NATO's bombing has to be taken into 'the context of stopping war'. Pretty neat, eh? How about one last example. This time, it's us at Spunion exercising Object Oriented Hypocrisy. Spunion, the subject, writes articles for you, the object (our loyal readers). You find them immensely unfunny, but we blame that on your extreme lack of intellect. If you find them serious, we also blame that on your lack of intellect. But if you find them amusing, we blame that on your lack of upbrining. Either way, we win. Pretty neato situation. I suggest you try some at home. If you can think of some excellent examples of Object Oriented Hypocrisy, click on this thing here. So go Billie Boy, go!