Have you gone insane?
Some stupid punk thought it would be cathartic or some crap to whinge
very openly in public. Being the shameless type, or mores the point,
not caring very much at this point, I thought that would be a great
article to write while feeling shitty in this very shitty
city. So I haven't gone insane, this is my incredibly juvenile
ode to Perth, Western Australia. And all you international visitors,
Elle doesn't live here.
Scientific Facts
Yes, well I've never been much of the sciencey type, so no, this article
is about as scientific as New Scientist or Scientific
American. I'm pretty sure that if those magazines sent someone down
here to talk to me they'd agree that Perth is a really shitty place
to break up in. Ergo, visa a vi it's a Scientific Fact. I'd
ask someone I know, but I can't. So there.
Miscellaneous Details
Of the most crap places to break up, the sort of South Perth sort of
river side beach bit (which I still contend is part of the ocean) is
one of the shitties of all places to break up ever. Quite simply, all
the happy summer days and nice blue sky and grass and crap sucks a lot.
I really think you all need to know that the only thing worse than
feeling crap is feeling crap when the whole world is all happy and
sunny. Yes Wendy Matthews, there isn't a cloud in the sky. Or whatever
the hell she was singing.
Oh yeah, and it's even worse when you're on holidays therefore
leaving you with absolutely nothing to do in. Which is pretty normal
in this city.
Summary
In short, Perth is a really shitty place to break up in with shitty
restaurants and no Elle McPhersons running around because she got
paid by some idiot with glasses. The only place worse than Perth is
fucking "down South". The whole region.
Cheers.